The Wiz Are Sending Buck, and Eddie, to an Early Grave

Dr. Gonzo Reporting,

Have I fallen into a time warp of some sort?  Are the Wizards 0-5 again?  NO… NOT POSSIBLE!!!

Sorry Buck, for the second year in a row it is very very possible. 

I wonder what it’s like to live in Detroit or Boston or Phoenix, places where teams are expected to win, and guess what?  They do.  Places where teams don’t piss away November, places where teams are good in the beginning, middle and then peak at the end.  Ah, I dream of a Wizards team that can fully grasp that concept.

Now I’m well aware that Gil and Haywood are hurt and that Roger Mason is actually playing quality minutes with the Spurs, but WHY?  What physical or mental deficiency do the Wizards have, that cause them to play like the pre- D’antoni Knicks in November?

It’s about time to hit the panic button.  The East is way, way better.  The Hawks are for real (so far), the Celtics are dominant again, the Pistons just picked up “AI” and the Heat and Magic look ready for a playoff push.  Oh, yea and Lebron is Lebron.  Can’t wait til he jams the ball on Christmas day and puts his nuts on some poor excuse for a Wizards big man, I’m going with Peche.

So far, not so good.  Blatche, please play hard every night or just go away.  And what about Etan. Were we really to believe that a guy who sat out for a whole year, would be able to come in and be a dominant starting center.  He’s undersized to begin with. 

EDDIE, START JAVELLE MCGEE, NOW!!  The future is now, dumb down your impossible to learn offense so he can jam the ball down peoples throats.  I know Dee Brown can throw an alley oop, I’ve seen it.

My big problem is that even if the Zards turn it around, they wont do shit in the playoffs.  Guess what, they are still the same team that has lost three consecutive series to the Cavaliers.  No, wait I’m sorry, there worse than those teams, at lease on paper.  The Zards lost their big man that no one wanted two seasons ago, but who apparently was our rock of defense. Holy shit it doesn’t look good. 

If this team is still hovering around .500 at the trade deadline, please Ernie, please make a move.  I know some guys on your team that we could ship in a second, Peche sucks, Songalia is too slow, Daniels is too old, Deshawn thinks he can shoot, and Etan Thomas is nothing more than a POWER FORWARD….NOT A CENTER.

I apologize to the readers for my angry tone.  My cynicism is getting the best of me.  Yes, I’m aware that there are some positives, like Nick Young, Butler, Jamison, Dixon and McGee, but the negatives seem to outweigh them this season.  Nick Young needs to start, stop babying him.  Remember this franchise thrives on the big three, right now you have a big two and a bunch of wanna be scrubs.  Young equals “BIG THREE.”

Hey guess what Wizards fans, Gilbert Arenas isn’t walking through that door.  This may be a season to forget, but lets pray it’s not.

Until the Wizards get their first win, Steve Buckhantz and Phil Chenier should be put on suicide watch, no one hurts more when the Zards lose than those guys.  It seems like decades ago since the last time I heard a “DAGGER” go our way.